REVIEW: Pinocchi-Hoe at Newcastle Boulevard

Pinocchi-Hoe

Newcastle Boulevard

Until Sunday 8 February 2026

The original Newcastle Adult Panto is back for the ninth outing featuring a cast that deliver a professional evening of outrageous rude fun. 

Last year, the show won our "Laugh Out Loud Comedy of 2025" award because it had the unadulterated, near-the-knuckle hilarity and nothing quite matched its raucous energy. 

They said "Once upon a time, Gepenis longed for a toy boy. One starry night, with a little help from the VERY Blue Fairy, his wish was granted and his latest creation, Pinnochi-hoe, came...to life! But the magical puppet catches the eye of the evil showman Strombollocks who will stop at nothing to get his hands on Pinnochi-hoe's wood. With the help of Dame Patsy, her thick as s**t son Limpwick and the cheeky Jiminy Flick-it, will Pinocchi-hoe learn what it takes to be a 'real boy'? And what is THAT that grows when he lies?! Find out when Newcastle's Original Adult Pantomime returns for its NINTH sensational year with PINOCCHI-HOE: the adult panto with no strings attached!"

What sets the show apart is both the on stage chemistry and the cleverly worked script. The cast have known each other for many years and it comes across that they are not a group that has been thrown together just for this project. The non-verbal stuff between them is noticeable. The script isn't jus a rehash of a family version with a few rude words put in.  There is some thought put into the opportunities to be naughty. Director, writer and panto comic Tom Whalley gets how to produce a show that mirrors the traditional format but also takes a fun, yet caring, swipe at it.

Luke David Martin is Gepenis, a gentleman with questionable habits who goes on to create Pinocchi-hoe (Jacob Anderton) and wished he was a real boy. The Very Blue Fairy (Miss Rory) grants  his wish to make him real and provides a conscience Jiminy Flick-It (Hazel Pude). Alas a baddie called Strombollox (Stephen Sullivan) wants the lad for his circus. Luckily the wooden one has local pizzeria owner Dame Penne Patsy (Dame Patsy) and her son Limpwick (Tom Whalley) in support when he needs rescuing from Pen Island. There is a story here and the show broadly sticks to it - even when singing a song about what they'd be if they were not swallowed by a whale. No spoilers here but Miss Rory's part brought the house down as it was so funny.

The cast is a collection of local panto actors who share the limelight. Whilst the central driving force is naturally Miss Rory, the likes of Jacob Anderton, Luke David Martin and Stephen Sullivan are given the room to push on with the narrative. Hazel Pude gets a chance to show her singing talents whilst Dame Patsy gets to shake their stuff in a musical number too. If I had one slight issue - I wanted to see more of Tom - he is naturally funny but for some reason I didn't feel he had given himself enough opportunities to do his act as much as previous years.  

The jokes and insults fly out from the stage. One memorable highlight, though, did come from Miss Rory's experienced dead pan reaction to one heckle, as a member of the audience noticed something about Gepenis's appearance half way through the show.

As an ensemble the cast demonstrated great Broadway style harmonies and choreography too, which raised the entertainment standard even further.

Breaking the fourth wall with Miss Rory
Photo: Joanne Oliver

Strictly for broad-minded adults, this is a well paced and funny show that goes beyond the crude and tries to bring something unique to the region. Others have tried to copy but nothing quite matches the original. Roll on next year!

Review & Photos: Stephen Oliver

Tickets and details:

https://tickets.boulevardnewcastle.co.uk/shows/26/pinocchi-hoe-annual-adult-panto-2026